Are malignant narcissists evil?

Many people who have had a 'relationship' with a malignant narcissist (MN) believe these characters to be the embodiment of evil. You really need to encounter a MN up close yourself to understand why this appears to be such a fitting description. But I wouldn't wish that soul-destroying experience on anyone. It is so difficult to describe and explain to someone who has never had a 'relationship' with a MN (or, as I have discovered to my endless frustration, to anyone who only knows a MN on a superficial level).

A particularly vivid blog on malignant narcissism is the stupendously furious and cathartic "House of Mirrors".

A stand-out post for me is one entitled 'Malignant Narcissists are Batshit Crazy', which states that:

“According to Eric Fromm and Scott Peck, ‘evil is a severe and specific form of mental illness’. But don’t confuse NPD with mental illness. Mental illness is not the cause of malignant narcissism; it’s the result of malignant narcissism… They engage in a persistent pattern of doing bad (evil) things and then they evade accountability… Never underestimate the narcissist’s creative union with lies…. The MN is at war with reality 24/7…. Madness is their preferred choice over reality. Lunacy is their safe place. They would rather die than admit to themselves who they are…. MNs are psychologically dependent on others to validate their lies ... they have trained their minds to 'unknow' the truth'... The narcissist does not have psychological injury, they have psychological decay. Every minute of every hour of every day that they lie to themselves they become more and more mentally decompensated. They can never regain their sanity because they can't repair something that no longer exists."

I really wish these words didn't resonate so strongly with me, because they are, to say the least, extremely unpalatable. But it's true. Madness really IS the malignant narcissist's preferred choice over reality. This is why trying to reason with one is like playing chess with a particularly verminous pigeon.

Before I go any further, perhaps I should clarify what exactly is meant by 'malignant narcissism'. All of us, even the most meek and mild, delicate, unassuming little wisp, has at least a small smear of narcissism in our characters. 'Healthy narcissism' is OK, in fact it's actually pretty good: it's having a sufficiently sturdy ego to ensure our basic needs are met. It's a survivalist thing. 

Some people are conceited, obnoxious twats with out-of-control egos and insufferable, domineering attitudes - these people have narcissistic traits but they probably don't have NPD.

What underlies narcissism the personality disorder (as opposed to narcissism the character flaw) is, as mentioned previously, a lack (or at least a severe deficit) of empathy. (Unfortunately, most narcissists are pass masters at FAKING empathy, along with many other attractive qualities such as sensitivity and kindness.) Other people exist to be used - to prop up the narcissist's delusion/boost his or her fragile over-inflated ego, or for scapegoating/projection purposes. But only a few people with NPD are malignant narcissists. (THANK GOD.) So, what sets malignant narcissists apart? In short, these people can barely be considered human. They don't only mercilessly go for what they want without a single thought for anyone else, but consciously and deliberately destroy their targets, and get a sick, psychotic thrill out of bearing witness to their downfall. The pain of their victims excites and pleases them. As Kathy at the "What Makes Narcissists Tick" blog says in her excellent post The Difference Between Narcissism and Malignant Narcissism, "he thinks to glorify himself by degrading you. He thinks to gain respect by denying any to you. He thinks to make himself important by treating you like dirt. He improves his reputation by ruining yours... In other words, they are not just mildly sick in the head, they are seriously sick in the head... A malignant narcissist doesn't really have inflated self-esteem. He lives in terror of moments of self-awareness...."

All this does kind of lead us, somewhat inexorably, to the question: are these people evil?

Certainly they engage in breathtakingly evil behaviour. Certainly the things they do, and the way they think, are so alien to normal people that the temptation to describe them as 'evil' is irresistible. And perhaps they are. I prefer, however, to think of them as being the saddest, sickest, loneliest and most unimaginably damaged people in this fucked up world of sad, sick, lonely and damaged people. Their 'evilness' fills the void of their soul. It fills it with nothing of any substance of course, just noxious bilious gas, hence the need to constantly keep up the evilness, to never cease doing the most unspeakably shitty things to the most undeserving people - those people who have all the things the malignant narcissist can never have, i.e. love, hope, self-actualisation, freedom, joy, purpose, spirit, vitality. Without the 'evilness', the smoldering rage and jealousy and bitterness, there'd be nothing at all, just a gaping black space, or worse, much worse: a compulsion to face Reality. 

So, does this at least mean they really are crazy, insane?

Hell yes. You will never meet anyone crazier or more at odds with Reality and The Truth than a malignant narcissist. Never.

Resources:

House of Mirrors: Malignant Narcissists are Batshit Crazy